Summary
Empathy is widely held as an important research mindset among designers. Many design research processes begin with the word. While empathy is broadly necessary to design practice, it is not without its problems. Most designers and researchers do not also know the dangers of empathy. Consider that: We confuse and conflate empathy, sympathy, and compassion. The differences are critically important. Empathic resonance in the brain is extremely biased. We find it hard to empathize with people unlike ourselves. Having too much empathy may also be problematic and can be weaponized by bad actors. We feel empathy only for humans and animals‚ not for objects, spaces, places, or our planet. This talk will explore the edges of empathy and show how and why two additional emotive capacities should be cultivated: curiosity and care. A short case study for a project involving four NASA space scientists will demonstrate that when these two capacities are added to empathy, they can lead to more generative research and richer insights.
Key Insights
-
•
Empathy comprises multiple types: cognitive, emotional, empathic concern, and motor empathy.
-
•
Empathy is asymptotic—we never fully understand others' feelings but interpret them through our own lens.
-
•
Overreliance on empathy can create an illusion of understanding, reducing the motivation to ask deeper questions.
-
•
Empathy often favors those most similar to us, causing bias and narrow perspectives often blind to dissimilar or marginalized groups.
-
•
The 'double empathy problem' explains misunderstandings between neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals due to different empathy expressions.
-
•
Standard design tools like personas can reinforce stereotypes if not critically reimagined, especially when representing stigmatized groups.
-
•
Removing demographic details from personas, as done by the UK Ministry of Justice, can avoid stereotyping and acknowledge complexity.
-
•
Community-driven 'undeliverables' invite co-design, emphasizing dialogue and shared expertise over one-sided insight extraction.
-
•
Care and curiosity are critical emotive capacities that complement empathy in user research and design for richer, more inclusive understanding.
-
•
User research should be viewed as a compass guiding ongoing discovery instead of a fixed map promising complete understanding.
Notable Quotes
"Empathy isn’t dangerous. It helps us take the perspective of others and build rapport."
"There's less empathy in user research today than there should be."
"Empathy is asymptotic – we approach understanding but never fully intersect with others' feelings."
"Empathy is pointed on both ends—feeling others' emotions affects us in return."
"We naturally spotlight empathy on specific individuals because engaging continuously is exhausting."
"The double empathy problem happens when neurotypicals and neurodivergents don't see each other's empathy as empathy."
"Badly designed personas create stereotypes, not archetypes."
"Designing and researching for a community is an exchange, a dialogue—not just extracting insights."
"Approach any situation with the mindset of I don’t understand, to lead to fuller exploration."
"Research is like a compass—it provides direction, not a detailed map with all the turns and dangers ahead."
Or choose a question:
More Videos
"You’re born on third base but think you hit a triple — that’s the enterprise software delusion."
Standardizing Product Merits for Leaders, Designers, and Everyone
June 15, 2018
"You can mine metadata from your platform to spot emerging patterns and commoditize new components."
Simon WardleyMaps and Topographical Intelligence (Videoconference)
January 31, 2019
"There’s a gap between intentions and impact; humility is needed to close it."
Sandra CamachoCreating More Bias-Proof Designs
January 22, 2025
"Taking responsibility starts with an apology and seeking regular feedback."
Darian DavisLessons from a Toxic Work Relationship
January 8, 2024
"Having conversations with stakeholders before sharing AI-generated recommendations validates their legitimacy and relevance."
Fisayo Osilaja[Demo] The AI edge: From researcher to strategist
June 4, 2024
"Craft cultivates customer satisfaction, loyalty, and even forgiveness when functional issues arise."
Uday GajendarThe Wicked Craft of Enterprise UX
May 13, 2015
"Consistency over business unit efficiency was a design principle to ensure unified interface and language."
Davis Neable Guy SegalHow to Drive a Design Project When you Don’t Have a Design Team
June 10, 2021
"Once cash prizes were gone, people stopped feeling ownership of the design system."
Eniola OluwoleLessons From the DesignOps Journey of the World's Largest Travel Site
October 24, 2019
"Finding a single source of truth for design documents and artifacts is extremely hard because most tools operate in silos."
Aurobinda Pradhan Shashank DeshpandeIntroduction to Collaborative DesignOps using Cubyts
September 9, 2022
