You Don’t “Get” Anyone to Do Anything
Summary
Any designer who has ever struggled to implement change in an organization has asked questions like those below: “How do we get product managers to value user research?” “How do we get executives to think in an Agile way?” “How do we get UX researchers to prioritize our work?” “How do we get our sales team to stop making promises we can’t deliver?” For product leader and author Matt LeMay, such questions are frustratingly familiar. He hears them from clients and colleagues, alike. Practitioners and leaders–in roles and on teams spanning UX, marketing, product, and more–unfailingly come to him seeking the answer to the question, “How do we get X to do what we want?”. Matt’s answer is always the same: “You don’t ‘get’ anyone to do anything.” “What’s more”, he’ll add, “you’re asking the wrong question”. Exactly what question should you be asking? All will be revealed when Matt joins us for the opening session of “Design in Product”. Building from the premise, “The path to success in cross-functional product development means embracing ego death and recognizing that you have very little direct control over anyone or anything,” Matt’s presentation will tap into the wealth of knowledge he has gained at such companies as Google, Audible, Mailchimp, and Spotify to illustrate concepts that are as practical as they are unexpected and profound. Stick around to join the conversation and ask Matt your questions during our post-session Q+A, moderated by Christian Crumlish.
Key Insights
-
•
Attempting to control others ironically grants them control over you, as Alan Watts explains.
-
•
Reframing 'how do I get someone to do something?' into 'how can I help them?' promotes collaboration over control.
-
•
Lack of clarity about high-level, specific shared goals is the root cause of many cross-functional tensions.
-
•
High-altitude, high-specificity goals create a compelling North Star that teams can rally around and align to.
-
•
Role clarity matters less when goal clarity is present; teams self-organize effectively with clear goals.
-
•
Facilitation is a critically undervalued skill, often marginalized due to gendered perceptions, but essential for empowered decision-making.
-
•
Inviting others, such as product managers or executives, into research and discovery sessions increases shared understanding and buy-in.
-
•
Proactively engaging with difficult collaborators by understanding their goals helps reclaim your own power and influence.
-
•
The term MVP often leads to misunderstandings; focusing on the purpose and goals behind deliverables is more productive.
-
•
Product community is shifting away from the myth of a perfect process; pragmatic adaptation within real constraints is key.
Notable Quotes
"You don’t get anyone to do anything."
"When we say if only I could get that executive to think differently, we’re actually giving them power over us."
"Acknowledging that you can’t get other people to do things is truly the path to freedom."
"Helping takes us out of a control-oriented mindset and puts us in a collaborative one."
"High-performing cross-functional teams self-organize around shared goals even with ambiguous roles."
"Facilitation is probably the most undervalued skill on modern product teams."
"We need to reclaim the value and importance of facilitation as strategically critical work."
"Research is a team sport; teams take it more seriously when they do it together."
"If only thinking is living in an ego-driven fantasy and giving someone more power than they have."
"There is no one right way to do things; this is deeply contextual work."
Or choose a question:
More Videos
"At the turning point, the team realized they were in charge of their own process and got engaged."
Carl TurnerYou Can Do This: Understand and Solve Organizational Problems to Jumpstart a Dead Project
March 28, 2023
"You earn your seat at the table by championing excellent customer experience and rallying the project team behind it."
Karen PascoeDeveloping Experience Teams and Talent in the Enterprise
June 8, 2016
"We couldn’t find just one word to describe our third value so we made one up: humbladent—humble and confident together."
Jilanna WilsonDistributed Design Operations Management
October 23, 2019
"The collaboration cycle requires following standards for accessibility, content, design system usage, and IA or you don’t launch your product."
Shawna Hein Kevin HoffmanCreate a Cohesive Civic Design Practice Across Agency, Vendors, and Contracts
November 17, 2022
"The scoping of Canada’s COVID app protected people with new phones, but left vulnerable populations unserved."
Barb SpantonDoing Work That Matters: A Look Beyond The Idealistic Notion of 'Doing Meaningful Work'
June 10, 2022
"Michael became our farmer maintaining steady flow; Davis our forger bringing world-class UX; Dana our gardener cultivating quality work."
Briana ThomasThe Quiet Force: Uncovering Hidden Leadership in High-Impact Design Teams
September 24, 2024
"Mirroring content by repeating back what people say helps them understand their own ideas better."
Gina MendoliaTherapists, Coaches, and Grandmas: Techniques for Service Design in Complex Systems
December 3, 2024
"If you press the exact same button today and tomorrow you get two different results, that’s non-deterministic UX."
Lija Hogan Milan Mijatovic Sam Proulx Louis RosenfeldThree Years Out: Perspectives on the Near-Term Future of User Research
March 15, 2024
"With our new operating model, partners are more confident funding UX ops because of increased clarity and focus."
John Calhoun Rachel PosmanTwo Sides of the DesignOps Coin: Teams Ops and Product Ops
January 8, 2024
