You Don’t “Get” Anyone to Do Anything
Summary
- “How do we get product managers to value user research?”
- “How do we get executives to think in an Agile way?”
- “How do we get UX researchers to prioritize our work?”
- “How do we get our sales team to stop making promises we can’t deliver?”
Key Insights
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Attempting to control others ironically grants them control over you, as Alan Watts explains.
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Reframing 'how do I get someone to do something?' into 'how can I help them?' promotes collaboration over control.
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Lack of clarity about high-level, specific shared goals is the root cause of many cross-functional tensions.
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High-altitude, high-specificity goals create a compelling North Star that teams can rally around and align to.
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Role clarity matters less when goal clarity is present; teams self-organize effectively with clear goals.
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Facilitation is a critically undervalued skill, often marginalized due to gendered perceptions, but essential for empowered decision-making.
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Inviting others, such as product managers or executives, into research and discovery sessions increases shared understanding and buy-in.
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Proactively engaging with difficult collaborators by understanding their goals helps reclaim your own power and influence.
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The term MVP often leads to misunderstandings; focusing on the purpose and goals behind deliverables is more productive.
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Product community is shifting away from the myth of a perfect process; pragmatic adaptation within real constraints is key.
Notable Quotes
"You don’t get anyone to do anything."
"When we say if only I could get that executive to think differently, we’re actually giving them power over us."
"Acknowledging that you can’t get other people to do things is truly the path to freedom."
"Helping takes us out of a control-oriented mindset and puts us in a collaborative one."
"High-performing cross-functional teams self-organize around shared goals even with ambiguous roles."
"Facilitation is probably the most undervalued skill on modern product teams."
"We need to reclaim the value and importance of facilitation as strategically critical work."
"Research is a team sport; teams take it more seriously when they do it together."
"If only thinking is living in an ego-driven fantasy and giving someone more power than they have."
"There is no one right way to do things; this is deeply contextual work."
Or choose a question:
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