Summary
It’s hard to collaborate with clients when some stakeholders continue to move the goalpost on deliverables, consistently contradict their own decisions, and ignore your advice as a consultant. This brand of toxic behavior can have adverse effects on your quality of work, cause strain on professional relationships, and ultimately result in a weaker product or service for your users. Senior Experience Designer Darian Davis will share what he’s learned navigating a previous toxic work relationship, and along the way, uncover the tools to help you navigate, alleviate, and improve toxic work relationships of your own.
Key Insights
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Prejudging a colleague as difficult creates confirmation bias and worsens working dynamics.
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Observing behaviors and asking targeted questions can reveal underlying stakeholder concerns.
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Empathy helps defuse frustration in toxic work relationships and allows more constructive conversations.
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Creating a clear project roadmap aligns expectations and appeals to stakeholders’ key interests.
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Consistent documentation and decision reviews hold stakeholders accountable and reduce project churn.
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Toxic behavior often stems from external pressures unknown to team members.
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Establishing boundaries and rules of engagement can improve interactions even with difficult individuals.
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Toxicity can come from anyone; self-awareness and taking ownership are crucial first steps toward improvement.
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Seeking regular feedback and working with mentors or advisors supports behavioral change and accountability.
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A repeatable framework for managing difficult stakeholders can be adapted for future projects and contexts.
Notable Quotes
"When fellow co-workers label an individual as difficult, it’s hard not to treat that person as a problem."
"I felt on edge around Jeff and physically depleted after our interactions."
"By observing Jeff’s concerns and asking questions, I was able to show empathy and focus on the problem rather than get defensive."
"I held Jeff accountable by expecting criticism to come with rationale and intentional improvement."
"Appealing to stakeholders’ best interests helps build trust and rapport."
"Reviewing decision points creates a source of truth and makes it harder to forget or scrap earlier agreements."
"It takes at least one team member to choose to set healthy standards for collaboration."
"We’re all capable of creating and perpetuating toxic work relationships."
"Taking responsibility starts with an apology and seeking regular feedback."
"By observing, appealing to interests, and promoting accountability, we can build empathy and respect to combat toxicity."
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