Log in or create a free Rosenverse account to watch this video.
Log in Create free account100s of community videos are available to free members. Conference talks are generally available to Gold members.
Summary
Ever wonder how some people can stay calm during a heated conversation? Are you curious to know how they can redirect the energy and actually achieve a productive outcome? Conflict is an inevitable part of the human experience, and the world is certainly full of it these days - and although it’s critical to creative problem solving, conflict often stands in the way of making positive change a reality. In this lightning-fast lesson we’ll bust 3 myths about conflict, reveal their corresponding truths, and learn 3 specific ways to turn down the heat in a tense situation.
Key Insights
-
•
Conflict is a shared experience; everyone involved contributes based on what they feel is threatened.
-
•
Personal triggers in conflict often relate to core values like competence, inclusion, autonomy, status, reliability, and integrity.
-
•
Conflict is not inherently bad; it can strengthen relationships and build trust if engaged constructively.
-
•
Avoiding conflict causes 'conflict debt' which compounds and harms relationships and culture over time.
-
•
Conflict signals that new ideas or change are trying to emerge, especially in innovative settings.
-
•
Effective conflict engagement requires self-regulation through pausing and calming the autonomic stress response.
-
•
Acknowledging others’ feelings nonjudgmentally helps deescalate tension and opens dialogue.
-
•
Asking curious, open-ended questions allows deeper understanding of underlying needs and interests.
-
•
Generational differences affect willingness to engage in conflict, with younger generations sometimes more avoidant due to virtual communication norms.
-
•
Conflict management skills overlap with coaching and mediation techniques focused on dialogue, listening, and reframing positions into interests.
Notable Quotes
"The true enabler of successful innovation is not technology but the human beings involved."
"Everyone contributes in a conflict; it's about different responses to feeling threatened or disrespected."
"Conflict actually strengthens relationships if we choose to engage with it."
"You can accumulate conflict debt by kicking issues down the road, and it compounds like financial debt."
"Stress makes us stupid because our creative thinking gets cloudy when under pressure."
"The ultimate goal is to engage the tension around issues while reducing the friction between humans."
"Calm yourself first; you can’t calm the other person until you’re calm."
"Acknowledgement is powerful—it shows people they are seen and can start to calm them down."
"Conflict signals that something new is trying to emerge."
"Managing conflict is about slowing down, acknowledging what you see, asking questions, and listening without interruption."
Or choose a question:
More Videos
"Design operations ensures the processes and systems are in place so designers can create their best work."
Angelos ArnisNavigating the Rapid Shifts in Tech's Turbulent Terrain
October 2, 2023
"We are writing the definitive guide because there is no single book dedicated entirely to design ops."
John Calhoun Rachel PosmanBring your DesignOps Story to Life! The Definitive DesignOps Book Jam
October 3, 2023
"If design is not viewed as a player moving the needle on business strategy, designers feel disempowered and frustrated."
Alfred KahnA Seat at the Table: Making Your Team a Strategic Partner
November 29, 2023
"Personas need minds of their own that push back, not perfectly behaved models."
Dan WillisEnterprise Storytelling Sessions
June 3, 2019
"Designers still love Adobe Photoshop even though the tooling hasn’t moved as quickly as other fields."
John Maeda Alison RandAbout Design Organizations (Videoconference)
May 13, 2019
"I needed to move partners from passive to resistant because resistance reveals their fears and motivations."
Anat Fintzi Rachel MinnicksDelivering at Scale: Making Traction with Resistant Partners
June 9, 2022
"Empowering maker culture invites everyone to be part of a collective endeavor far beyond any individual."
Uday GajendarThe Wicked Craft of Enterprise UX
May 13, 2015
"We recognized recurring challenges: lack of visibility, proving value, and coordinating across teams."
Kristin SkinnerTheme 1 Intro
September 29, 2021
"You might feel like one of the blind men in the story when parts of a process don’t show the whole picture. That’s why you need the full journey exposed."
Maish NichaniSparking a Service Excellence Mindset at a Government Agency
December 9, 2021
Latest Books All books
Dig deeper with the Rosenbot
What challenges arise between balancing digital accessibility and minimizing carbon emissions?
How can organizations use thinking styles to better support caregivers with varying cognitive approaches?
How can service design improve interoperability in healthcare IT systems dealing with genomics data?